Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Do you think there will ever be a movie that features a line such as “You graduated at the top of your class in liberal arts, we need your help”?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Do all vehicles, including cars and SUVs, need to be lifted up on ramps in order to change the oil filter? If not, what is an alternative method for changing the oil filter without lifting the vehicle?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Cum at omnis doloremque totam.

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Mariska Hargitay will reveal past secrets, new family at 'My Mom Jayne' premiere - USA Today

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Supernus Pharmaceuticals to Acquire Sage Therapeutics, Strengthening its Neuropsychiatry Product Portfolio - Sage Therapeutics

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I can count

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

What the ‘Revenge Tax’ Is in the Tax Bill—and How It Could Pummel the Dollar - Barron's

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I can read

What can you do if someone makes a false accusation against you?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I see through liars

To those people in the world who have access to universal healthcare, what experiences could you share with Americans in order for us to understand how it affects your life (positively or negatively)?

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Salary you need to live comfortably in Virginia in 2025, according to new study - 13newsnow.com

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

34-Million-Year-Old Snake Discovery Unveils Surprising Secrets About Reptile Evolution - Indian Defence Review

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Liquid Glass is more than skin deep on macOS Tahoe - AppleInsider

I actually pay taxes

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand how hurricane paths work

Trump administration eyes stripping Columbia's accreditation - BBC

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Bessent Emerging as a Contender to Succeed Fed’s Powell - Bloomberg

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Kellen Moore: I like where our quarterbacks are heading - NBC Sports

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t buy bullshit

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup